I MISS YOU AYAH!!!

Ayah!!!!

Ya Aallah beri la.. ku kuatan...mengatasi segala dugaan dan cabaran yang kau beri...

Beri la...ku pelindungan....dan jugak kepada keluarga ku....

Ya Allah hanya kau tempat ku mengadu tiada siapa dapat dengar kan kesedihan yang membuat ku halang di temu dengan ayah ku....Ape salah dan silap ku hingga ku di larang untuk temu ayah???

Ibu marah bila ku bilang yang benar...setiap kali ku melihat manusia lain bersama ayah mereka, hati ku rase sangat rindu dan pilu...ayah maaf kan ina tak dapat hadir kenduri ayah....

Bukan ina tak nak hadir ayah, tapi ina tak di izin kan...ayah ina slalu doa agar ayah sihat walau ayah sekarang hidup bersama mak...Insya'allah ayah slamat pergi dan pulang dari umbrah...

Insya'allah ina akan simpan duit buat ibu menunaikan umbrah....

Ibu sentiase marah bila ina cakap pasal ayah...Kadang-kadang ina rase ibu tak rase ape ina rase...ina perlu kedua-dua kasih sayang....rase sunyi..ina tengok keluarga kawan-kawan ina bahagia..tapi ina?

Sekarang ni tengah keje insya'allah dapat la..sekolah...ina tahu ayah dan ibu nk sangat tengok ina gi poly...Insya'allah ayah ,ibu ....

Ya, Allah beri kan hamba mu ini kekuatan untuk tempuh segala dugaan & cabaran yang di beri oleh mu...Hari demi hari rindu ku terhadap Ayah ku semakin dalam, Hanya kau tempat ku mengadu nasib ku setelah kehilangan kasih sayang dari kedua bapa ku....

Aku bersyukur kepada mu ya Allah s.w.t

Memberi ku pertunjuk jalan yang benar setelah ku lalui

Segala ringtangan yang di beri oleh mu...

Kini hari demi hari cinta ku terhadap mu semakin dalam

Insya'allah akan ku bukti kan kepada keluarga ku betapa kuat nya

Cinta ku terhadap mu...

Ya Allah dengan mu slalu berada di samping ku di

Setiap waktu & saat ku rasa tenang...

Tiada ku rasa curiga,sedih,gelisah atau marah...

Alhamdulilah kini sekarang ku dapat mengatasi segala kesedihan yang ku lalui

Usah ku membuang masa ku menanggis untuk sesiapa....

Malahan kini amalan yang ku buat ade la...

Jangan la...ku lupa Allah s.w.t

Jangan la...ku lupa solat 5 waktu

Jangan la...ku lupa untuk berdoa selama ku hidop

Cinta la...Allah s.w.t sehingga akhir hayat ku...

As'salammualaikum...Salam Manis

Lina Prolly...

Tiada tempat lain untik mengadu....

Kini ku hilang arah tujuan ku buat seketika...

Kini ku redha segala apa yang terjadi selama ini

Akan ku kuat kan semangat ku untuk ku slalu

mendekati mu, mencintai mu dari manusia dan

jugak mengingati sepanjang hidup ku dalam dunia ini...

Confession

The story of Lagenda Budak Setan was a great show to me....

I tear when I watch....

It shows how much a guy love a girl...

His willing to take her back after knowing the true stories....

His willing to sacrifice his time to get what is good for their future

His sincerity,trust and love have never been faith even they are far apart...

I really do envy those types of relationship...

It tells how much u appreciate & treasure a person in your life.......

A phrase which I been told is worth to wait for e right one...

Insya'allah.....

"It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel".

Hmmm....Is been a while I tak update my blog....Let's start saying about year 2011...

Alhamdulilah.....

things are getting better....

for now I able to understand myself better as in control my emotions where no one could know.....

Unless I let it out...

As for now Bella & Bo have been by my side listen for what probes I'm going thru right now....

Seriously I'm taking things very slowly in detail as to assured myself for what I'm doing is right...

Wanna know whose Bella & Bo look at the pics below...

Thanks to this SWEET COUPLES....

They are really sweet....

I can see how much Bo love Bella....

Thank to Allah s.w.t that you both meet each other where Bo told me before that

"Both of us came from a 2 different world"

Alhamdulilah they managed to get along with each other...

Insya'allah your relationship is always bless by Allah s.w.t....

Been spending time with Bella & Bo for the past few weeks back..

Reflect back what we have discuss about planning to go a

short trip, wave house, flying kites and etc...

Insya'allah the day will come soon where I could enjoy and have fun with them...

Back to talking about year 2011...

Happy for awud as he get back his freedom back....

Talking abt awud....thinking back we been friends like 5yrs....

Wow!!! That's amazing hahahahahaha...

But that's e fact....

All the best for your future....

Right now I'm planning to further my studies in polytechnic...

But I'm not sure if I could get into any of the poly or even the course that I want....

Praying hard that I could into Polytechnic...Insya'allah..

Oh...ya...I forget to tell...

Again I received my x message...

He said this

"Its been 1month plus we are not together....

so fast yet I still can't forget u Lina...

the memories we had together is so strong till

I can't erase it in my mind i miss u lina

I miss the time I had together with kau"

"Klau aku takde or senyap kan diri

Tat does mean aku da lupe kau aku tetap masih syg kau,

kau ingat nie je ok...

aku put aku nye heart and soul for kau

just to let you know this jage diri baik-baik"

"2 months plus has just passed...

aku still remember kate2 kau...

Janji kau to ku, our moments and all..

surat yg kau beri to aku bile aku enlisted to ns tells alot....

aku can't forget it kate2 kau dulu...

sampai skrg aku tak expect kita macam gini...

aku tak pernah terfikir akan jadi macam nie..

tis is worst...its hurtin me so much...

Lina...aku rindu kau so much...Pls help me..."

There's more of his text message but I just post the recent one....

By reading all those text message I really don't feel it for him anymore...

Everyone been asking WHY?!!! I'm so hush to make this decision where else people

Think it could be settle in a nice way....

Let me let out what I feel actually

1. I just want him to change for the better as in (pray & going religious class and etc)
2. He promised me by giving him at 4yrs to change
3. Found out the truth of him where I got to find out about virginity after 2yrs
4. He went out with the same girl when he was with me not once but twice!
5. Request him to change his number but he insist
6. He didn't agreed with me as I was telling him that I want to start wearing tudong
7. He did't not respect me as a women by asking me for ***
8. I don't see him could guide me in the future

That's part of the reason why I take a leave and prefer to be what I am now...

There's more that I could type out...

But I dun want to...

I guess with the reason that I reveal it up to people to think if its right...

That I make the right choice.....

Meeting someone new in our life after break up is not part of the reason

Where they assume there is 3rd party that's why she's taking a leave for him...

I really dun expect that people could have that assumption of me

W/o knowing the actual fact or reason why I'm taking a leave

Dating someone does not mean I will be with that person...

It depends on situation sometime things just not working btw u and your date

As for myself I'm taking a chill pill hahahaahahahha...

No rushing in finding a new relationship.....

As for now I just need to settle what I need and work for what I want

Having a relationship is another commitment....

For now I dun see is important to have relationship...

I feel so freedom as I can do whatever I want & whoever I want to hang up or meet out with....

But at times I feel lonely but nah....I'm fine as

From what I know I have someone who will always love me no matter what.....(Allah s.w.t)

Love Allah than human is better as it does not harm or hurt your feeling like we have

Toward humans being....

Some humans just being cruel

They don't really bother abt the other party feelings

By telling lies is already part of the reason why sometimes

Human got emotional wondering...

If he/she is being sincere toward one another....

Actions speaks louder than words....

Your actions will tells everything even if you don't speaks out...

But you need to clarify things as to make things clear....

If you were to take a leave....

Just leave.....Love Lina Prolly:)

Missing My Dad So Much!!!

GOSH!!!!DAMN IT!

My contact lens torn again I give up!!!Back to specs!!!I LOOK SUCKS!!!

I REALLY MISS MY DAD SO MUCH!!!!

Yesterday I woke at about 4am out of sudden it reminds me of my dad...Now days been having arguments with my lovely mum. I really don't mean to be rude to her, but at times she go over my limit...I been keeping all my sorrows to myself I just don'y know where am I suppose to go or who am I suppose to talk too...I can't always rely on friends..as everyone has their own probes to face.

Financial is getting so damn tight....I just really need a permanent part-time job no matter what!!!wah...so hard to get one of that...Insya'allah soon I will get one....Oh ya...I thank to Allah s.w.t who actually heard my prayer all this day long...Alhamdulilah....Now my heart just feel so peace without feeling any confusion....After all now I just feel that I'm not losing anything:)

Again keep on receiving my x sms...Saying "I MISS YOU, I STILL LOVE YOU & I STILL CARE FOR YOU"come on...things are over.... My last relationship really taught me a lot things which really makes me became a stronger person I thank to Allah s.w.t for waking me and up and make me walking towards the right path way.

I'm not trying to said his bad...He is a nice person is just some personal things that I don't think it could bring us back together...I prefer to be this way....Being single at times I feel lonely but at times feel happy as I can do whatever I like and I dun belong to nobody....:) Getting to know more friends is no harm as long as we dun put any hopes or give the other party hope that will do.

For myself when I get to know new friends I like to know more about their past and present background, what experience they have gone thru, what currently they doing either study or working, attitude and how their lifestyle. From there we can predict what type of person is he or she...izzit worth to have a friend like them? that is all depends on individual:)

Attachment ending soon, result are coming our soon aarrgghh!!!...Insya'allah I could get into the course that I want.Praying hard for it. ok,ok got to go is already late...Got to go to bed as tmr is a long day for me after work there's ngaji class haahhahaah...yeah looking forward for that!!!!!Nite-nite.....As'salammualaikum Lina Prolly:P

Alhamdulilah....Here come the New Year of 2011....

Insya'allah this year gonna be a great and smooth year for me to keep on going with whatever obstacle that come along the way....Congrats to my elder sister for her engagement on 01.01.2011..that was a super busy day for me too...I was supposed to slept over my first brother house as my sister engagement was help there but I was told not to by my mum...haiz...

Few weeks before the engagement day, I was busy helping out with the gift for my sis engagement and slept over my second sis house....While helping those gift, my heart just felt so sad as I know soon my sis will get married and I will miss those moment that I had with her....Her concern, her care and her attention was given ever since our parent divorce....

At the same time I'm happy for her. Like finally kak win you found someone who love you and willing to be with you for the rest of his life....I guess next will be my twins sis who will be getting engage but i don't know when but some how I heard is also around this year no idea which month will it be.... so "SUPRISE" hahahhahaha....lol...

hmmm.... talking about the engagement everyone of my siblings was there except my younger brother and my second brother was not there due to the day before both of them went out for countdown. Oh...ya talking about countdown....not to forget I thank to Aisha and Suhartini I was with them and their boyfriends and not to forget my friend Ibnu as well...

That was the night where I make my wishes for year 2011...Insya'allah what I pray for and what I wished for come thru....That night was a sad night too....But I just don't wanna talk about it..what I'm doing now is sit back and watch how things going....It hurts....I still could face and accept for what I saw right in front of my eyes...I act as if nothing happen and take it as I didn't seen anything.....

As for now ever since I get to know Ibnu, I'm getting closer getting to know Bella and Bo...They are such a lovely and sweet couples that I ever meet..Insya'allah Bella and Bo your big day will be happening. I thank them for the courage, advice and guidence that they give....I appreciate a lot for being there when I need someone to talk too and a shoulder to cry on.....

I will never forget those time and fun I had with them!!! They are like my elder brother and sister.....Talking about fun most of the time I chill out with both of them....some how I learn a lot of things from them as in knowing and understanding humans attitude and characters, how human lie and so etc....After helping Bella with her elder sister wedding I slept over Bella place....Guess what it was a super damn tiring day for me but I really have fun on tat day:)

Bo had a conversation with me while Bella went to take a shower...He said ever since he started to know and hang out with me he regards me as her little sister....I'm glad to hear that as there'a other people out there who actually regard somebody else as their little sister as how I wish my own sibling being that way....But after all of them get married I lost their attention,love and care towards me.....:'(

Deep inside my heart I did tear out as I felt so happy that not only Bo regard me as her little sister but not to forget Bella and Diyana too regard me as her little sis:) Alhamdulilah....At least I have someone who appreciate my present being with them...Insya'allah it last....Talking about Diyana my close friend ever since we start out attachment together she also been the one who feel me for what I feel for whatever probes that I shared with her....

She did scold me if I being to nice to people some people just don't deserve to be treated nice as they hurt my feelings and does not care for what I feel...Thanks diyana you been there for all this day long not only on family probes but also Relationship and etc...

Once again I thanks to you people

As'salammualaikum....(peace be upon to you)

Lina:)

After got to know "BAD NEWS" abt it...

Been thinking for the past few weeks don't know what I should get for....

After get to know the news, my heart just crack...But is ok...I'm still stay strong to face and accept the fact:)...My wish is just to see you blowing e candle in front of me will do...As long as you smile...it tells me that you're happy:)...

I will smile a long with you if you smile,

I will cry along with you whenever you're down,

Be by your side whenever you need at that moment...

That's is my principle if I've a bf...

Oh ya...By the way ppl I just cut my hair hahhahahahaha....

I think it looks funny on me but...nah...Just have a look a photo of me with the new look:

Seriously I look different when I look back at the photo above.....

That's my natural curl I just can't believe it that curls looks nice from my friend comment,they said I look good:) hahhahahahahhaha...thanks I'm blushing:P

Guess what?!

I'm at work and I'm updating my blog...cause there's no job given....

I'm getting bored right now argh!!!!....

I just can't wait to end my attachment...faster,faster,faster!!!!!

Insya'allah maybe after this, I continue taking my diploma don't know if I could get into any of the government polytechnic,If not private part-time diploma and full-time work....

There's nothing much I could said, so I just want to end it here...:)